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Professor Pickling [06 Sep 2005|10:18pm]
Professor Pickling's Patsy Cline Portfolio: The Depths of Noir...
A new film by the makers of "Torpedo Zone: Captain of Anatomy"...finally bringing together Tony Danza and Anthony Hopkins for the last time, for one final battle royale to the death! With voiceovers by Henry Hallard of the Chi Doggs and Fran Shelty from the Granier Brothers traveling Amusematorium. BRING YOUR ASS CUZ ITS GONNA GET BLOWN THE FUCK OFF!!!
--- Otho ---
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Log Party [02 Sep 2005|06:54pm]
I went to a log cabin, several weeks ago. It was fucking great.
I heart log cabins. Lord.
I have had several decades of experience with this kind of behavior, psychotic bullshit disguised as normal herding procedures.
Nomadic paradise.
Gnome-matic pizza slice.
Rice in a dish.
Captain Crunch is our savior. Not that Moses guy, or that other guy, the Lord.
Anyway, I guess I really don't know.
--- Ribbons of Fire ---
17 comments|post comment

FOR CHRISTS SAKE [19 Apr 2005|11:01pm]
Soap in a lake. What a shitty idea! As a celebratory gesture of my one year live journal anniversary, the "guess a new band name for Phonic" contest is now in effect. If you read this journal post, and don't want to be humiliated in a public square, you will oblige me and submit as many serious band name suggestions as you can. The prize will be determined by what I have to give as prizes. No riddles please. and don't fuck with daddy.
--- Daddy's Touch ---
3 comments|post comment

Sum such [13 Apr 2005|10:26am]
"Our music is made specifically for getting high...and to truly get high is to forget yourself. I think we should be a government sanctioned public service, and they should set us up to play places where people need to get high...you know, like Washingon DC"
- Jerome John Garcia (1943-1995)

...that about sums it up
Why forget yourself? because then you can remember EVERYTHING else.
--- Lazlo ---
1 comment|post comment

Happiness Is... [11 Apr 2005|10:12am]
...listening to Fred Wesley play his horn.
Maybe James Brown was right.
--- Balki ---
4 comments|post comment

Somethin good for your soul [09 Apr 2005|07:46pm]
This is real: They Will Rock You

“Bohemian Rhapsody,” “We Are the Champions,” “We Will Rock You” — who hasn’t bobbed his head or stomped his feet to these mainstays of the rock-and-roll canon? Adapted by Mike Dixon for an ensemble of 36 actors, these and other Queen classics are revivified in “We Will Rock You,” a spirited musical by Queen and Ben Elton.

My life now has purpose.
--- Albert Finney ---
7 comments|post comment

Yams [08 Mar 2005|06:16pm]
So if I get fired from Guitar Center, I can collect unemployment for up to half a year! Fuck. Well, if I quit, I get nothing. So I'm trying my hardest to not give a fuck about my job, however this does not mean I'm trying to get fired. Anyway, that is all. I'd like to quote some scripture however: "And on the second day, the yearling fled the holy sea and all was ill within His holy kingdom. Ye, the shepherd glanceth to the fields of Alanon. And doth the sea parteth with His glory, and hallowed kingdom of repentance, raineth on the valleys of the blessed. Ezekiel prepareth the bread of the meek, and giveth it upon the holy sacrament. Sloweth travel the blessings of the Lord, and hither thy presence with the sanctity of thee. Thy kingdom baketh the tides of the congregation of Him."
-Aramathea, 16:29
--- Randolph ---
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Conversations with my computer [11 Jan 2005|12:56pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Okay, so here's the skinny. Whenver I'm typing, be it on Microsoft Word or Word Pad or the internet, my computer now does something most out of the ordinary. It will begin to type for me if I leave the cursor in one place. I will now demonstrate: if

Okay, now I must emphasize that I DID NOT type the word "if". Andrew and Matt were over here the other night and saw the whole thing in action. They are my witnesses. When they saw it, the computer was mainly typing the word "if" again and again and again. However, the night before that, it had typed a nearly totally coherent sentence, something to the like of " he told we might may go to the med center...Harry said they went to the med center". Bizarre shit. Even now, if I leave my cursor unattended without typing anything, it will type shit for me. Anyway, I documented a "conversation" I had with the computer on Microsoft Word last night, when Andrew and Matt were here, observing the whole thing. I did not dictate what the computer was saying, it typed it itself, completely without the aid of anyone or anything. Here is the transcript in it's entirety, I have capitalized all of my words, the ones I typed, so as to avoid confusion:

Off they if if may may they may
May if
If if if if they if if if if if if if
(Editor’s Note: Right here, a small AIM type icon of a lightning bolt appeared where the cursor was and quickly disappeared)
If If if if if if if if if
If if if if
If if
They if if
(Editor’s note: Where this blurb is, a long series of “If if if if if If if if if” ‘s appeared, and it was deemed too boring to continue talking with this apparition until…)

So that's the end of the transcription, however, in the time it took me to copy and paste that, the computer started speaking again, but on the livejournal update page text thing. Here's what it had to say:

if may if may if if they may they may they may may may

Okay, so that's it. Anyway, if the computer ever says anything truly worthwhile or bizarre, I'll put it up here, but until then, laters.

--- Annoyed Dude ---

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Car Shit (Just like in the Turbo Rangers Sequel) [19 Dec 2004|02:21am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Yeah, so tomorrow I'll be insuring my 1991 Volvo 740 Turbo Sedan, then getting it registered the next day at AAA. Flint. I am also done with a workable version of the Phonic demo, and will soon be finished with my solo thing. I also need to get website worked out for reals for the band and shit. Also, it looks like Matt is back in the band, seeing as how we had a fantastic practice last Thursday. Andrew got his van running, so it looks like some car luck is in our immediate future.
In the meantime, check out these Phonic links:

The first is a work in progress, but mainly a cool place only becuase it gives you tons of space to store your downloadable shit. the second is Matt's page at Myspace, however both sites have some of the same music. The first site has a hilarious band photo from about a year and half ago of Phonic playing when I was really fat looking at generally fat.

That was all very boring.

--- Fuckin' Core ---

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pathetic thing [07 Dec 2004|03:25pm]
You're Bob! You come from the streets and can
certainly fuck shit up old school. You have a
taste for mail-order brides and pony rides. You
can name all 5 U.S. States in 18 seconds

which mr. show genius are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

so I guess I'm not David after all!
--- Bob Odenkirk ---
1 comment|post comment

In Cars... [07 Dec 2004|03:12pm]
[ mood | high...but on weed! ]

Hey ho, the bakers men row, hark the cherry trees in the Summer's Grove. The dew shines where the ferrets dwell, and the carrion crow beckons the ocean's swell. I have a drivers license now, or a license to drive. I also have a car now. Its grey, and the headlights work! Please send free car stereo components (just good ones, not pieces of shit) to:

Alastair Windsor
588 Mercurio Way
St. Loaves, WI

Thanks for your sacrifices, donations are appreciated.

--- The Bible ---

5 comments|post comment

[05 Dec 2004|02:15pm]

Who's yo' daddy
LJ Username
I like it
Your daddy otakutess
Favorite hookup location Motel 6
Average minutes per hookup 6
Wants in on the action boyplayingdead
This QuickKwiz by tehnibbler - Taken 31 Times.
New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

funny stuff. And I always knew Matt had the hots for me.
--- Rimshaw "Grips" Henderson ---
3 comments|post comment

APPLESAUCE [02 Dec 2004|10:55pm]
Applesauce. My birthday is five days before Christmas day, and therefore I never actually get presents for my birthday. People usually dont have money for gifts, but if they do, it will be on Christmas bullshit. Like fucking turkeys and cobblers and fuckin Christmas lights and lights that are actually little Santa Claus figures. Phonic is mostly done recording our little demo, and it's turning out great. Also, I am now convinced that I am cursed by the fact that no one will ever think of a name better than Phonic, so suggestions are still very much welcome.
But cobblers aside, its fucked up that my birthday is overlooked by a hoiday so insignificant in comparison, it frightens me.
But does it frighten you? And by you I mean all you black people out there. Yes you, stand up you silly goose! Don't be afraid, Elton John didn't actually design your booties! However stylish and modern they may be, it doesn't change the fact that the color scheme is vaguely homo-erotic. Not to offen anyone, but homo-erotic servitude is hardly the thing to promote in public...or any sort of erotic notion, especially on bicycling shoes!
--- The Biblecycle! ---
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Freaking Un-Be-lieve-a-Diculous Crap [01 Dec 2004|07:06pm]
[ mood | blah ]

First off, on a serious note, my grandma, Carol Martins, passed away last night at around 3:30 AM. She was a really wonderful person, and had she not moved here about 2 years ago from Hawaii, I would've pretty much never known her at all. She died of jaw cancer, and went pretty peacefully in her sleep. I'll miss her, but it's comforting to know she had a very, very full life. She was about 75.


There is a movie all who know of should rent. And that movie is: BANK BROTHERS. I can't remember who directed it, or any of the actors contained wherein, but it's undeniably hilarious. It involves three stumbling but loveable negro gentlemen who, upon coming to some sort of realisation, decide they must rob banks, so as to follow in the footsteps of Clarence's (the main gentleman) father. So, they set out on their haphazard course of failures, mishaps, and occasional whodunit-esque, hip-hop revelry. Anyway, they end up robbing a bank with harpoon guns and are dressed in nothing but women's sweaters (with sweaters being used as pants, quite an amusing sight). They come across a European man who apparently is of seven or eight different nationalities. They steal a diamond, and save the day.

Perhaps the plot is rather ridiculous, if not utterly bland and un-interesting. But the acting is of such a high calibre, as is the cinematography, every true fan of urban American film-making should see this picture.

In other news, I am almost finished with recording what is to be my most interesting recording yet...suggestions for the album title would be appreciated by all who doth read on. And all who request a recording shall receive one when its finished.

I would like to form an electric chamber-group (think a string quintet with an upright bass, electric cello, guitar, mandolin, and ukelele) called "The Riptide Minstrels". The debut album would be titled "The Quartering".

--- Edward Ellis Jr. ---

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[30 Nov 2004|01:34am]
I posted this on Andrew's crapolamajig, and I thought so highly of some of the words, I wanted to post it here too.........It'll go out of style just like board games and tilt-a-whirls or gondolas or goldfish-in-a-dish went out of style. Potstickers or whimsical fairy tales are still really in style, and roller coasters are making a comeback as of late. Not to mention Russian people and most types of cork. Appalachian ding-dongs and golden harps are just skyrocketing in popularity too. Also, dreamsicles and hoo-has bloom like the spring flowers. Scrimshaw planks and pancake cranks have been infiltrating some inner circles recently. Oh but let's not forget Cakes on Crackers or The Too Hot for TV Omnibus: Box Set. Superman plates had their day, as did the Gone With the Wind plates. Batman never got a good plate.

--- Rupert "Pina Coladas" Holmes ---
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Ho ho ho! Merry XXX-Mas! The clouds will surely part and spell your name! [30 Nov 2004|01:10am]
[ mood | restless ]

Wouldn't it be weird if you stopped to shake someone's hand and they died, but rigor mortis sets in too soon and they freeze up and you end up not being able to detatch their corpse from your hand? That would be quite a dandy. And it would suck.
--- A Bbbrrsssht II ---

2 comments|post comment

Yep [20 Nov 2004|07:52pm]
Right. Why should I be typing on this page? If someone reminds me why I'll keep doing it. Otherwise I can't remember why this isn't a tremendously empty thing to do. If all I'm doing is typing for pretty much my amusement, which is mostly what this has turned into, then why not just keep a private journal? What a tremendous display of spewing bullshit this is...but seriously though....
4 comments|post comment

Computer Blue [13 Oct 2004|09:58pm]
[ mood | workweek just started ]

So the computer was all fucked up. It broke, then I put Windows back in on it, and then it was then again in on it in general. The whole process took a while, thus no hot steamy action on the web for me.
I would try to think of fun or endearing things to say but cannot for reasons of time or perhaps reasons of altogether wretchedness. The latter reason is an undecided reason.
Now that the computer is working again, its hard to re-adjust it like it was before because it'll probably crash again. This is the third computer that has crashed on me. The worst instance of that was when my beloved prize music producing computer of technological delight pretty much fried itself as a result of some power type failure. Maybe it was a communication breakdown. Either way it wasnt pretty.
King Crimson are good. They produced a new dvd from the eighties that makes obvious use of cutting edge (current, as in modern day wind currents) film "F X".
Two licensed camera wielding retards will soon be hitting the Sacramento airwaves this coming January. Those retards are me and Andrew R. Cox. We will have cards that permit us to use expensive machines for our own private interests. I like this, and I like King Crimson.
King Crimson should project the film "Crimson Tide" (starring Gene Hackman and Denzel Washington Jr.) behing them for any upcoming live shows. It would cast a wonderful shade of irony over the proceedings.

--- Hypocrates (hip-ock-ruh-tees) ---

2 comments|post comment

So I'm Sick [22 Aug 2004|07:51pm]
I have some sort of virus. It sucks, but not enough to keep me out of work. Goddamn. Why doesn't everyone who has vicodin give theirs to me? And also, why the fuck is my computer stalling and pausing so much. Well. Not much to say here that hasn't been said already. I hate most things today. Including you! Who? Well...who knows. That's perhaps because my illness prevents me from toking my fabulous smokery. And Goddamnit, if my fucking computer keeps pulling this amateurish bullshit, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Perhaps in two days or so I'll feel better. This is complete crap.

--- Fuck ---
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Funny things. [29 Jul 2004|01:44am]
IF, you call someone a Son of a Bitch out loud, it's really not all that funny. Albeit, if voiced properly and with passion, it can be a hearty blow to the psyche of another. But really, it just falls flat in so many ways. Originality sure, creativity sure, ambiguity, somewhat.


IF you say the same exact phrase, but do so under your breath, while staring someone directly and coldly in the eyes, it is undeniably fucking hilarious. Try it. You will see the light of the lord in the eyes of a lamb. Twist the lamb's tail, it's a great deal of fun once you take the final passage. Delve. Ask not what your furnace can burn for you, but what you can burn for your furnace.

IF a man weeps in the woods, is there not a soul to hear his cries? Are his cries devoid of soul? I know there's socks, but are the wool? Do you not order the same thing more than once at Carolina's?

IT is inconsequential to the public as a whole when a person of wealth gives money to homeless people. But, is it tax free? Or at least without interest? Can there be a one time cash gift to a homeless person that cannot be taxed at all? I hope there is, because someday, when I'm homeless, I'm going to make a sign that says "If you're extremely rich, give me a check (that's good) for $1,000,000 because I won't have to pay tax on it" then I'll spit on people who don't give me money, while constantly holding a broken light bulb (which I assume could be used to cut people with) just under my coat.

THESE are merely questions and quandries posed to nobody in particular by nobody in particular. That is all.

--- Brett R. O'Reilly ---
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