Okay, so here's the skinny. Whenver I'm typing, be it on Microsoft Word or Word Pad or the internet, my computer now does something most out of the ordinary. It will begin to type for me if I leave the cursor in one place. I will now demonstrate: if
Okay, now I must emphasize that I DID NOT type the word "if". Andrew and Matt were over here the other night and saw the whole thing in action. They are my witnesses. When they saw it, the computer was mainly typing the word "if" again and again and again. However, the night before that, it had typed a nearly totally coherent sentence, something to the like of " he told we might may go to the med center...Harry said they went to the med center". Bizarre shit. Even now, if I leave my cursor unattended without typing anything, it will type shit for me. Anyway, I documented a "conversation" I had with the computer on Microsoft Word last night, when Andrew and Matt were here, observing the whole thing. I did not dictate what the computer was saying, it typed it itself, completely without the aid of anyone or anything. Here is the transcript in it's entirety, I have capitalized all of my words, the ones I typed, so as to avoid confusion:
WHO’S TYPING SHIT ON THE COMPUTER
Off they if if may may they may
STOP IT NO MORE TYPING
STUPENDOUS WILLOWS ENTRENCHING A LION’S ASSHOLE CREVICE ALLOW BIRDS OF SUMMER TO SPRING FORTH IN A SHOWER OF GLORY.
If if if if they if if if if if if if
COME ON, GET SERIOUS HERE. SAY SOMETHING WORTHWHILE
DON’T SAY IF ANYMORE. I MEAN IT!
(Editor’s Note: Right here, a small AIM type icon of a lightning bolt appeared where the cursor was and quickly disappeared)
OKAY, SORRY, I DIDN’T MEAN TO UPSET YOU THERE. THE LIGHTNING BOLT WAS TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY.
ARE YOU STILL THERE?
I MISS YOU
If If if if if if if if if
If if if if
STOP SAYING IF!!!!
THAT’S FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!
They if if
THIS CONCLUDES OUR SESSION I TAKE IT, IT’S BEEN HOLLY JOLLY.
(Editor’s note: Where this blurb is, a long series of “If if if if if If if if if” ‘s appeared, and it was deemed too boring to continue talking with this apparition until…)
OKAY, I GUESS WE’RE STILL IN THE CONVERSATION. WHAT’S WITH THE LIGHTNING BOLTS? I SEE. THANKS. IT’S THE COMPUTER DOING THE LIGHTNING BOLT. HOWEVER, THE TEXT STILL CANNOT BE EXPLAINED.
OKAY THAT’S IT THIS IS BORING CRAP!
So that's the end of the transcription, however, in the time it took me to copy and paste that, the computer started speaking again, but on the livejournal update page text thing. Here's what it had to say:
if may if may if if they may they may they may may may
Okay, so that's it. Anyway, if the computer ever says anything truly worthwhile or bizarre, I'll put it up here, but until then, laters.
--- Annoyed Dude ---